Mister... Get them!

Sedition and the machinations of Lithuania, Russia groans, the traitorous boyars. All this is Lithuania's machinations, sedition... Rus' groans! And what's there to mutter? - He walked out of the entrance, the entrance was dark, but the day was bright - and went blind and fell. And it wasn't even slippery; it's easy for a blind man to fall. You don't even need to trip him.

Then his eyes adjusted and he looked around. His friend K. was standing next to him, standing like a prince of high rank - straight, hands in his pockets, his gaze drifting over everyone's heads. I shouted at him to pay attention. He didn't hear. Apparently, his thoughts had truly carried him too far. Oh well, he thought, so be it. And he went about his business, but he forgot where he was going. As soon as he fell, he forgot everything. But at least he wrote a poem. Here it is:

Under a spring ray
Somehow sweating,
I walk as a man
Of the male subspecies,
Towards me walk
More than a hundred maidens
And they salute their libido!

Well... the verse isn't very good, not very good... it could be better. However, it's not the time. So I thought, looking around. Far, far behind me looms the skinny figure of the lanky K. - "He deserves a monument!.." so I thought, angrily, even spat. This K. obviously has nothing better to do than soar in high thoughts! Ignore us!

If these are intrigues, machinations, then unleash the dogs on them! Get at them, get at them! He dropped to all fours and barked, loudly, ringingly. As loud as he could. My exalted friend, the one named K., didn't even notice, even though he was a hundred paces away... He barked louder, then howled mournfully and scratched his ear with his foot... Or rather, with his paw. And then a new verse popped into my head. Of itself, light as a feather. Here it is:

Melancholy is heavy.
The moon is high,
Brothers, understand my restless soul.
I breathe in the spring,
My sides ache,
But I will not break my loyalty.

How pleasant it is to howl! Even more pleasant than biting. Yes, yes, I've even tried biting. And let them not point fingers! Friend K. managed to escape, I wish he had!.. I felt sharp teeth, strong jaws, and something tickled behind me – a tail! Just like with people, like with any decent dog. Pride overwhelmed me, and I wanted to run and jump. Then a kick in the ribs! Well, war is war—people are like people... But a tail, after all, is fun and exciting.

Love is like a dream or a flood.
Love is like an icebreaker among ice floes.
And somewhere, indifferently, no doubt,
A rabbi is warming himself by the stove.

If only I could bite someone, someone indifferent! That would be great. Wow! And poetry, that's good too! Although, it would be better to write it like this: "An evil rabbi warms his heels by the hot fireplace." Evil as a dog!

He got distracted and almost ran over a truck. Cruel! And it weighs five thousand kilos! He looked at the black tire—it smelled of rubber, spinning. He started spinning himself, like a top. He chased his tail until dark. He was sweating, but he still hadn't caught the tail, but he had bitten it. It was so painful throughout his body that he immediately fainted. Someone's feet were stamping nearby, shouting from above: "The man is in trouble! The man!"

K.'s friend leaned over and patted him on the cheeks in a friendly manner: "Andryusha, what's wrong? Wake up, friend. My God, I've fainted!"

He saw all this through his shaggy eyebrows, stood up, shook himself, pushed this K. aside, and trudged sadly away, meaning home.

©Mikhail Dmitrienko, Alma-Ata
1996